Tuesday, August 7, 2012
In high school I wasn't one of the "cool" girls because I couldn't stand staying in the girl's bathroom participating in, or listening to gossip. Consequently, I was a routine target of gossip, and some of it wasn't very nice.
Gossip is cruel and very damaging. It can hurt. Most of the time the gossip consist of incorrect information, omitted information, or information that should instill some empathy or understanding for the victim of the gossip.
I can't speak for men, but in my life experience the women who gossip are the ones who have insecurities that the "topic" of the gossip doesn't have. Gossip is tied up with envy and jealousy. It's a means to belittle the person being discussed.
The Urban Dictionary defines gossip as "exaggeration or fabrication of a story, regarding somebody other than the tale bearer, in the absence of this person who is being discussed - for the malicious purpose of demeaning, slandering or tarnishing this person's reputation."
It has been years since I've been a direct victim of gossip gone bad. I would think that women in their 60's and 70's would be above that type of behavior, but I've learned that isn't the case.
I've lost a friend due to her listening to this gossip and that makes me sad. I was tried and sentenced without the benefit of a trial, and that makes me sad. I've also learned that there are still those out there who possess to be a friend but will still cave in to peer pressure at the expense of friendship.
Oh well. I am a fortunate and blessed woman. I do have close friends I trust and know I will always be able to trust. They are secure in themselves and aren't afraid to say "bullshit" when someone starts throwing around damaging comments about another person, especially someone they care about.
It's too bad everyone can't try to find the goodness in others and focus on that.